The Confessions of My Mouth ~ Honesty
Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also
from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me!
~ Psalm 19:12-13 ~
As I consider being in the fourth chair, the subject of honesty turns out to be a multi-layered conversation. On the surface and under the umbrella of humility (ETD Pt. 6), honesty is an obvious central component of healthy, life-giving dialogue. Until it shows up, I sit in virtual darkness, unable to converse about the contents of life, either because I won’t or cannot see. It’s hard to have a genuine conversation with someone you aren’t honest with.
There are generally two ways to be dishonest. I can choose to willfully lie by speaking something untrue. I can also lie by willfully omitting the truth, thereby deceiving someone. That’s the obvious top layer of how NOT to be honest.
However, there is a deeper layer to the subject that’s key as I enter the dialogue, because truth-be-known, no person alive understands the whole of what lies within them. There are aspects of who I am that remain hidden from me, that I truly cannot see. But in the company of The Triune God, I am fully known. As I sit with Him, there is an opportunity for me to be enlightened to those dark places. In the meantime, an inability to be honest within those areas remains. That’s a very important thing to remember as I sit in the fourth chair.
How can I own a thing I do not see? How can I specifically offer an area of myself to the Lord that I do not know exists? King David set a precedent for this by asking God: “keep me from presumptuous sins. Let them not have dominion over me.” Evidently, he considered himself vulnerable to what he did not know about himself. A wise soul keeps that close to the fore of their mind.
The idea is, I submit to God what I don’t yet know, just as I submit what I do know. Within what is yet to be revealed are most certainly snares that would want to bind me. But it’s just as likely there is undiscovered treasure to be found. God, in the fullness of time, illuminates dark places. My response to that illumination is to offer those “discoveries” to Him (snares and treasures alike), to shape and mold and conform to the image of Jesus.
I grow in honesty to the degree that I am given a more comprehensive lens into the content of my heart. That is a Spirit work. It happens within the dialogue as I humble myself, allowing God to have His way.
Who cares about the things that remain unknown? Why does that under-layer of honesty matter as I enter the dialogue? Because the more God reveals about the full breadth of what lives within me, the more I am able to come to Him with the full breadth of who I am. He asks for all of me. ALL… body, mind, heart, and soul.
“You are acquainted with all my ways.”
~ Psalm 139:3 ~