Whoever listens to me
will dwell secure
and will be at ease,
without dread of disaster.
~ Proverbs 1 ~
I am discovering that vulnerabilities are not the looming detriment I used to believe they were. I think they are instead something quite neutral. They are very simply points of entry, much like the front door of your house. They are weaknesses to the degree that something harmful accesses them. They are advantageous when accessed by someone safe.
Those points of entry, whether a door to my mind, or body or emotions have one common thread. They are all ultimately gateways to my heart, that aspect of my being housing my love and devotion. My enemy wishes to occupy that space. God wishes to occupy that space.
It’s vital to consider the issue of heart-occupancy because I worship whomever lives there; whomever I have allowed to reside on the throne of my heart. I can place myself upon that throne, which is self-worship as I pursue my own gratification. That ends up being a win for my adversary, satisfied that I would choose anyone other than God.
I used to expend great energy trying to eliminate vulnerabilities. To me they were signs of weakness and something to be rid of, or at a minimum, contained. But that doesn’t make much more sense than boarding up your front door on the off chance someone might come to rob you. You monitor the activity at the front door. You don’t seal it up. In any case, God began to teach me that the battle to be won lay beyond the vulnerability itself.
He began to speak to me about invitations I was constantly fielding from my adversary and from Him. He began to waken me to the activity taking place in my subconscious where the wooing of my heart was playing out. That wooing needed to be present in my consciousness so that God could re-train me to pause, consider and discern. Why? Because I am nearly always wooed through my vulnerabilities; through those points of entry.
The fact that I might be predisposed to something is not, in and of itself, negative. If I have an addictive personality and God has access to that predisposition, then I may display and enjoy a level of connectedness to Jesus that someone more passive would not. But if that addictive bent in me is accessed by a substance or other source, I should expect to be consumed, even ruled by it. Who accesses my addictive bent is the important consideration.
I have to allow God to show me the places I am vulnerable. I also have to understand that those vulnerabilities may shift over time and that new ones may surface as life plays out, which means I have to pay attention and receive any illumination God would give (bible, pen, journal, mouth shut, occupying the fourth chair).
Where am I vulnerable? Who is accessing those vulnerabilities? There may be far more than I imagine at stake if I choose to turn a deaf ear.
My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
Do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways
of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors.
~ Proverbs 1 ~