The Person Behind the Issue

One of the things inherently dangerous about engaging in an issue I’m emotionally sensitive about, is the tendency to place the issue between me and the person I’m engaged with. If I do that I kill the possibility of meaningful dialogue. The issue becomes paramount. The person becomes secondary. One of the reasons I opt for giving the issue priority is because I tend to WANT the issue to be the most important thing. I want to climb on my soap-box and preach and convert my wayward opponent. That’s tantamount to bullying and causes the problem to spread like a nasty rash.

I can’t think of a more self-centered posture yet my nature wants to default to it. It is about as anti-Jesus as I can be, and that’s simply not okay. When God engages in any sort of issue with me, He zips past the issue to the center of my heart. He knows that is ground-zero. He knows if He can get me to open that heart-space we can actually engage meaningfully. His heart is already open to me. It’s dripping with Fatherly love. All the beautiful attributes of His love are present. It is a simple yet profound scene that puts the relationship we share front and center. The issue is not unimportant but it is secondary. This is the template (rules of engagement) for the child of God.

I remember vividly being in prayer with John because of some contentious issues between us. We knew what we wanted, but what did the Lord want (we hadn’t been asking that question)? He woke us up to that critical omission and then we pleaded with Him to do what made sense to Him. That opened the door for true change to take place. He sidelined the issues (temporarily), placed us side-by-side rather than the toe-to-toe, issue forward position we had assumed. And then He went to ground-zero to tenderize our hearts. He reminded us we were fighting for something (namely protecting our relationship) not about something. G.A.M.E. C.H.A.N.G.E.R.

Today, as we interact with one another (friend or foe) let’s fight for one another, not against one another. Let’s be sure the person is who we really care about, not the issue we’re desperate for them to get. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to help us see what matters and let lose of what doesn’t. If you are anything like me, you’re not going to be able to do that without meeting with Him first, heart open wide.

Remind them to avoid quarreling,
to be gentle, and to show
perfect courtesy toward all people.
Titus 3: 1-2